Al Harrington and Brian Butch to the Rescue: Laugh Out Loud, George Karl!

WHAT IS A “LAUGH OUT LOUD, GEORGE KARL!”?
This is supposed to be at least a bimonthly feature where Quest for the Ring (QFTR) takes a break from all the “basketball science” stuff which goes down around here most of the time.

Will this really be a bimonthly or better feature from now on? Maybe, since I have a brand new Production Plan which, unlike previous ones, is definitely something that can work in real life. (I have the full scientific management thing going now, folks.) On the other hand, I have always intended to occasionally mix in light posts with the full scale ones, but have never been able to actually do it. As with almost all other types of posts, I never have had the time to do as many “Laugh out Louds” as I want. Even if I did nothing in life but work on this site, I still would not have enough time to do everything I really want to do. The bottom line is that I will do everything possible to do a Laugh out Loud at least bimonthly, but we know from experience I often simply can not and do not do as many things as I want to or as I predict.

That damned Real Player Ratings Department is hogging all the resources, damn them anyway.

If you don’t know why the “George Karl” comes after the “Laugh Out Loud,” then you do not really understand basketball, you have not read QFTR much, or perhaps you think George Karl is a solid basketball man while QFTR is a garbage site. If that’s you, then you are a worth a laugh out loud yourself, and I wish you a good trip back to the hype zone. How did you ever get here in the first place?

I warn you that at a site this serious about basketball there is technically no such thing as a light and fluffy, meaningless post. Even the Laugh out Loud, George Karl! postings will contain some real information regarding our primary theme: how NBA playoff games and Championships are won and lost. The Laugh out Louds are simply less serious, shorter, and much less scientific renditions of full scale Reports. So you will still find some important information embedded in them if you look for it and think a little.

You will also often see some attempt at summarizing major recent themes and/or upcoming themes.

So put the dog out, take the phone off the hook, kick back, and prepare to “Laugh out Loud, George Karl!”

THE NUGGETS’ INFERIORITY COMPLEX REGARDING THEIR POWER FORWARDS AND CENTERS
This past season, while I should have been covering the Cavaliers and other key teams more than I did, while I was still “stuck on” the Nuggets (which was where this site started in the old days) I reported over and over again that George Karl had chosen Power Forward Renaldo Balkman to be the 2009-10 player who is going to ride the bench all year, no matter what. Every year Karl has to have at least one player who should be playing who is simply not allowed to play except in garbage time, because in Karl’s mind that player is a garbage player. Come hell or high water, regardless of how good he is on the court, that player is not going to play.

You see, Mr. Karl is one of those gradually going the way of the dinosaur type of coaches who think that personalities and playing styles are major factors for whether basketball teams win games. If a player has either an unusual personality or playing style, and/or he has a personality or playing style that is considered bad or poor in some sectors of the public, you can bet that Karl will be looking to make sure that player plays only in garbage time.

The Renaldo Balkman situation deserves additional serious comment outside of a Laugh out Loud, and I’ll have much more to say regarding Balkman in the near future, but for now just understand that Balkman was a well above average power forward during 2008-09, when Karl did play him. I guess to Karl it appeared back then that Balkman had a good personality. Although he never or almost never actually did start, Balkman was more than good enough to start at power forward and he was one of the key, “secret,” and surprise factors that allowed the Nuggets to defeat the Dallas Mavericks and advance to the 2009 West Conference Final to play the Los Angeles Lakers.

Balkman was in 2008-09 and almost certainly still is better than Kenyon Martin, the type of high paid, big name veteran who Karl will start regardless of personality or style, unless that player displays open hostility to him.

Martin displaying open hostility to Karl actually happened once. In 2006, Kenyon Martin and George Karl had a fierce argument about playing time and strategy for a round one playoff. Martin was representing Quest for the Ring (not exactly, just kidding). The result was that Kenyon Martin was suspended and got almost no playing time at all versus the LA Clippers. Almost all negative encounters with George Karl lead to less playing time.

Let’s look at Kenyon Martin (K-Mart) the way Karl does. Although K-Mart has a somewhat volatile personality, it’s nowhere near bad enough to offset the positive of his aggressive, conventional, and typical for a power forward playing style. Plus, he is a very highly paid veteran with a fairly big and fairly historic name. So all in all, K-Mart must start and get a lot of minutes even if a “reserve” is actually a much better player.

CHRIS ANDERSEN
Chris Andersen (a center or power forward) was in 2008-09 and in 2009-10 clearly better than Kenyon Martin. In fact, Chris Andersen was and is the best power forward on the Nuggets, period. It is nothing more than a dumb Nuggets’ myth that Kenyon Martin is the best power forward on the team. Just because Kenyon Martin is supposed to be much better than Chris Andersen doesn't guarantee that he actually is.

Andersen is one of the best defenders in the NBA, period. He should most definitely be starting (alongside Nene at center) and playing at least 30 minutes a game and 2,500 minutes a season. Whereas all Karl did was to increase Andersen's playing time this past season to 1,700 minutes from 1,450 the year before. I guess it could have been worse.

When Balkman didn’t play at all and when Chris Andersen didn’t play enough, it meant that the Nuggets’ best power forwards were sitting out while paint defending went to hell in a hand basket and while the Nuggets were defeated by a truly serious basketball team and franchise in round one, the Utah Jazz. This was repeatedly warned about here. (I don’t do hard, guaranteed predictions anymore, but I do warnings instead.)

One of a very small number of franchises that has never appeared in the NBA finals (gee, could it have something to do with the ownership or the coaches?) the bumbling Nuggets franchise, since they were defeated 4-2 in round one this year by the Jazz, have revealed that they are positively terrified that they might be on the verge of being one of the worst teams in the League up front (at center and power forward). This is a true “laugh out loud, George Karl” if there ever was one, because in point of fact the Nuggets had a decent crew of power forwards and centers before they panicked about not having one and set out to make it better.

But wait, they made what was a fairly good crew worse, not better! So now maybe they really will be one of the worst front courts in the NBA! Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

NUGGETS' MANAGEMENT TO THE RESCUE?
So Nuggets’ management had a difficult problem to contend with this off season. What to do? How would they try to offset George Karl’s refusal to give credit where credit is due to Andersen and Balkman? You can’t go against Karl; you can’t disagree with his personality and style determinations. If Karl says Andersen and Balkman are poor players who deserve little or no playing time, you have to agree with that and go with that, laugh out loud.

So would Denver management recommend to the owner that the Nuggets quit the League and move to the developmental League? Or should they move to the Italian League? The Mongolian League? The Easter Island League?

No! There was no quit in this franchise! Nuggets’ management rode to the rescue by acquiring power forward superstar Al Harrington (four rings and one of Phil Jackson’s favorite players) and they backed him up by also acquiring the veteran, solid starter, always dependable Shelden Williams for that four spot that neither Andersen nor Balkman can hold down due to bad personalities and bad playing styles.

Al Harrington? Shelden Williams? Brian Butch, the new star Nuggets' Center? One of these is supposed to finally be that complete replacement for Marcus Camby, who was literally given away about two years ago?

Incidentally, it was ironically many of the Denver fans and not so much George Karl who were glad that Camby was given away, on account of Camby’s poor excuse for a playing style. The Camby Man’s personality was acceptable, but the playing style had to go, laugh out loud.

And you thought it was just the Coach in Denver who gets hung up on personalities and styles! Laugh out loud! For all you know and for all I know, half the state of Colorado is hung up with personalities and styles. In California (especially Southern California) unusual personalities and styles are often looked up to and given all the “playing time” in the world. Whereas in Colorado, the funky personalities and styles mostly sit and watch the games from their spots on the bench. "Take that seat over there, Chris Andersen, right next to Coby Karl, whose personality and playing style are to die for. Try to become like him!"

Oh dear Lord, the Nuggets apparently are going to be like a sieve in the paint in 2010-11. It looks like it will be even worse than 2009-10 was. Chris Andersen getting little playing time and/or Renaldo Balkman getting no playing time may very well repeat in 2010-11. After all, personalities and playing styles hardly change and George Karl is coming back again and he is still insisting talent doesn’t matter as much as personalities and styles do. Yes, he really is coming back, even after his cancer scare. And he is dragging his son Coby Karl with him. Together, the two of them are out to someday take over the entire NBA and bench everyone in it.

With Kenyon Martin getting old in basketball terms now, assuming Andersen is still forbidden from starting or playing quality minutes, and assuming Balkman plays little or not at all again, the Nuggets are indeed no better than average and very possibly one of the worst teams in the League at power forward-center!

LOOK OUT, LEBRON "YOU HORRIBLE MAN" JAMES
But I defiantly choose to look at things positively! I pronounce the Nuggets’ dilemma (you know, that one where they have good players but don’t play them) solved. Chris Andersen and Renaldo Balkman can ride the bench now in peace, while Al Harrington, Shelden Williams, and Brian Butch take care of matters in the paint.

You are good to go now, Denver! With Al Harrington, Brian Butch, and Kobe Karl, you now have the kind of lock down defense needed to go all the way to the 2011 NBA finals and to win the Quest using a football type strategy! Harrington and Kobe Karl will stop that bad man, LeBron James, right in his tracks! You are going to utterly destroy LeBron James and those upstart Heat, Denver. You will reach the promise land now!

Seriously and for real, Laugh out Loud, George Karl!

PS: Al Harrington is definitely not a superstar, definitely does not have four rings, and definitely is not one of Phil Jackson’s favorite players.